Connecting People

Goal: Make others meet and remember you.

Never Eat Alone
You should always be reaching out to others over breakfast, lunch, whatever.

Setting-up
Set up a dinner or what to ask all people to come.
Ask the one you want to talk privately to come in advance.
Invite a humorous person to add some entertain for the business meeting.
If inviting someone unknown, it is better to ask someone knowing each of you in case of time-wasting discussion.

Passion
Seek the like-minded.
Go to the place your client like.
Share a deeply personal part of your life to make them feel like you think so highly of them.
Share annual newsletters-new and exciting things you are working on, or about your family about yourself (Those who receive this kind of letter won’t be uncomfortable with such a public display of emotion.).

Meet Someone New
Preparation Checklist
His/her proudest achievement
Google affiliation曾在什么单位工作
Call and explain that you have a scheduled meeting to gatekeeper people and require for some background information.

Take 15 minutes and a cup of coffee in an out-of-the-office place.
Go to a business trip and drop by those who live around or invite them to make a speech.
Entertain at home with a group of acquaintance and just one or two strangers.
A hearty smile indicates approachability.
Maintain a good balance of eye contact.
Unfold your arm and relax.
Nod your head and lean in without invading the other person’s space.
Learn to touch people. Elbow touching is slightly more personal than a hand.
Make them feel special to make yourself special.
Be prepared to have something to say, like current events.
Cultivate some niche interest.
Talk about other people’s passion and share yours, but don’t preach it.
Nothing is sweeter to someone’s ears than their own name.
At the moment of introduction, repeat their name.
If all else fails, five words that never do:
YOU ARE WONDERFUL. TELL ME MORE.
Be a good listener-encourage others to talk about themselves.

Don’ts
Limp handshake.
Sit at the far corner of the room.
Be a celebrity hound: Celebrity is rounded by lots of people. Celebrity’s close personage might be more easily to approach and remember you. Have a handshake with who will not remember him beyond the handshake?
Be a card dispenser: This guy passes his card out like it had the cure for cancer written on its back. In reality, he’s created nothing more valuable than a phone book with people’s names and numbers to cold-call.

Follow-up (Follow-up is the key to success in any field.)
Timing:
Between 12-24 hours after you meet someone to follow up
Content:
Always express your gratitude.
Say something impressed during your talk.
Reaffirm commitments you both made.
Be brief and to the point.
Address the thank-you note to the person by name.
Send tokens or advice to show you are thinking of them and are eager to help.
Take people you met in a photo and say a quick hello to them.
Remember others’ birthday, send something small.

Different situations:
A plane meeting - send an e-mail later that day.
A random encounter - send e-mail includes the sentence like, “It was a pleasure meeting you. We must keep in touch.” and cite something particular we talked about in the course of your conversation. Let it serve as a mental reminder of who you are.
Build up a database for acquaintance.
Second meeting introduction-It was great talking to you yesterday. I wanted to follow up with some thoughts we discussed. I’d like to get on your calendar and chat for 5 or 10 minutes.
Could add something you could help them.
Send useful article to them.
Follow up with the go-between matters.

Conference
Be a conference commando
Join a conference or not? Do the math. Use a return-on-investment-type thought process.
Help the organizer (Better yet, be the organizer), for the person responsible for event is generally overworked and stressed out.

How to offer help:
I am willing to devote a chunk of my resources-be it time, creativity, or connections-to make this year’s event a smash hit. How can I help?
Study after study shows that the more speeches one gives, the higher one’s income bracket tends to be.

Make conference within conference
Arrange a meeting before the conference. Likely people have no plans when arriving.
Ideally, invite a stable of speakers to your dinner, which will provide a star-studded draw to your little event. Be familiar with your town, which helps your boldly invite people to your hometown for a real treat.

Amused Invitation
!!!!!Send out a funny invitation asking a few people if they’d like to play hooky from an official dinner and go to a nice restaurant elsewhere.

Create a Genuine connection
In 2 minutes, you need to look deeply into the other person’s eyes, listen intently, and ask questions that go beyond just business, and reveal a little about yourself in a way that introduces some vulnerability. Vulnerability is contagious!

At each conference, keep a list of 3 or 4 people you’d most like to meet on a folded piece of paper. Check off each as you meet them. Beside the name, jot down what you talked about and make a note about how you’re going to contact them later. Ask the organizer to point them out for you.

Your sound-bite introduction will change depending on the circumstances. Generally, it will be a two- or three-sentence opener, tailored to the event, about what you can or want to do for them.

Breaks are no time to take a break
During speeches, sit in the back and write follow-up emails to the people I just met at the previous break.

Find a job through personal connection.
Restaraunteur
A-list restaurant attracts A-list people.
It’s quite easy to get to know a restauranteur.
The others: headhunter/ lobbyist/ fundraiser/ PR/ Politician

Ask questions
Try and be among the first person to put your hand in the air.
A really well-formed and insightful question is a mini-opportunity to get seen by the entire audience. Be sure to introduce yourself, and ask question that leaves the audience buzzing.

How to conclude a conversation?
“There are so many wonderful people here tonight; I'd feel remiss if I didn't at least try and get to know a few more of them.” Would you excuse me for a second?”
Use get-a-drink-strategy. Would you like one? No. And then you don’t have an obligation to come back. If yes, during way to bar or back, talk with others. When returning with a drink, you could say, “I just ran into someone you should meet. Come on over.”
If the talk fails to last, why not end up an invitation.

Turn connections into compatriots=found a bond and keep it strong
Every person you meet is an opportunity to help or to be helped.
Find out what motivates that person. It often comes down to one of the tree things: making money, finding love, or changing the world (could be health wealth and children, say introduce others a good doctor, or a job).
.
Sharing
New York Times bestseller list.
Email the summary of a book to others.
Become a knowledge broker.

Remembrance
People needing building new relationship are supposed to hear your name in at least 3 modes of communication by, say, an e-mail, a phone call, and face-to-face encounter-before there is substantive recognition.

Once gaining early recognition, you need to nurture a developing relationship with a phone call or e-mail at least once a month.

From transforming a contact into a friend; you need a minimum of 2 face-to-face meetings out of the office.

Aspirational contact (志同道合者)
1. At least one time per month actively involve 3 modes of communication.
2. Already know well quarterly call get birthday call/holiday card.
3. Don’t know well. Send card per year.


Key for a get-together
1. Create a theme, say Women Only dinner party.
2. Use invitations.
3. Don’t be a kitchen slave.
There’s no sense in a party being all work.
4. Create atmosphere.
Candles, flowers, dim lighting, and music set a good mood. Add a nice centerpiece to the dinner table. The point is to give your guests all the signals they need to understand that it is time to enjoy.
5. Forget being formal.
Follow the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Silly).
6. Don’t seat couples together.
Mix and match. Could set placeholders where I want people to sit. You could put an interesting question of joke on the back of the placeholder which guest can use to break the ice with one another.
7. Relax
Guests take their cues from the host-if you’re having fun, odds are that they will, too.

Be a person of content

Tips on helping you on your way toward becoming an expert:
1. Get out in front and analyze the trends and opportunities on the cutting edge.

2. Ask seemingly stupid questions.
“Don’t you think having all your MP3s on a little Walkman-like device would be cool?” If you ask questions that are like no other, you get results that are unlike any that the world has seen. How many people have the courage to ask those questions? The answer: all the people responsible for the greatest innovations.

3. Know yourself and your talents.

4. Always learn.
Content creators are deep questioners and readers. They’re also sticklers when it comes to self-development.

5. Expose yourself to unusual experiences.
Learn about things that are out of the mainstream.

6. Don’t get discouraged.
If you’re going to be creative, cutting edge, out of mainstream, you’d better get used to rocking the boat. And guess what-when you’re rocking the boat, there will always be people who will try and push you off. That’s the bet you have to take. Deeply committed professionals need to know the score: Passion keeps you going through the rough times come hell or high water, and both will come.

8. Know the new technology.
You don’t need to be a “techno geek,” but you do need to understand the impact of technology on your business and be able to leverage it to your benefit. Adopt a techno geek, or at least hire or sire one.

9. Follow the money.
Creativity is worthless if it can’t be applied. All great ideas are meaningless in business until someone pays for it.

Build Your Brand
We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc.

Most people’s judgment and impressions are based on visuals. Looks count. Everyone sees what you appear to be. Send e-mails filled with creative ideas to your CEO.

Connect with media try a small media first to learn how to deal with reporters.
Send them information.
Meet them for coffee.
Call regularly to stay in touch.
Give them inside scoops on your industry.

Always prepare to act, sound, and feel like an expert. When didn’t knowing something, be sure to pass him on the person who did. If you are constantly apologizing with “Well, I am not the expert,” people will believe you and wonder why you wasted their time.

Link a celebrity to your story without really knowing the person. Leave it to the journalist to track down the star. You’ve done your job by giving them reason to seek her out.

Once you’ve put in all that hard work and landed a nice article, it’s no time to be modest. Send the article around. “Here’s another one of Ferrazzi’s shameless attempts at self-promotion.” Most people get a kick out of it and it keeps you on everyone’s radar.


Sports (Especially Golf)
Competition of this sort taps into our psyche in a certain way that brings us back to a more innocent time when we were kids throwing a ball around on the street.

Wonderful Sentences
1. I have a confession to make.
2. job-giver VS job-seeker
3. snail mail 通过邮件递送的信件
4. be set to begin=be about to begin
5. Draft off a big Kahuna
6. You’ve just paid a boatload of money to be at this conference (unless you’re a speaker, when it’s usually free!).
7. Conversation is an acquired skill.
8. The dinners at your average event are often a total mess. People’s attention is scattershot. Everyone is trying to rise above the noise and be polite and engaged with ten different strangers.
9. Deep in our genetic code, we are conditioned to be afraid of strangers.
10. How another person perceives you is determined by a number of things you do before you utter your first word.
11. I’ll have folding chair at the ready so they can pull up next to the dinner table.
12. Teaching is the finest method I know for learning.
13. He loves people, their stories, and how they view the world.
14. Those days are good and gone.
15. Use software tools to filter out unwanted messages.
16. Brand loyalty is tougher to achieve.
17. Nothing will be said beyond, “Hi, I’m so-and-so and your talk was great.”
18. bash your head against the wall
19. Your abilities may be stored away or infrequently used, but they are there.
20. If what you do can be done by anyone, there will always be someone willing to do it for less.
21. My first job out of college at Imperial Chemical Industries, I mastered the ins and outs。
22. Have a unique / well-thought-out / point of view
23. less-than-exciting opposing candidate.
24. a gripping story扣人心弦的故事
25. The most gripping stories are those concerning identity-who we are, where are from, and where we are going.
26. EVERY JOB I TAKE, I PLAN TO BRAND MYSELF AS AN INNOVATOR, A THINKER.
27. Early on in my career, I paid too much attention to getting attention.
28. Me, write? I don’t have a Shakespearean bone in my body.
29. invite-only conference
30. nonprofit=not-for-profit
31. I was so young that no one really took me seriously.=You are not big enough to matter.
32. But a commando knows that you have to get people to like you first. The sales come later.
33. When can I do a call this week, or at your leisure?
34. The highest human need, said Maslow, is for self-actualization— the desire to become the best you can be.
35. Don’t be a kitchen slave.
36. Ask questions that are like no other.
37. Be a name-dropper以仿佛很熟悉的口吻谈论著名人物的人
38. As long as you’re going to think anyway, think big- Donald Trump
39. Add rock salt the wound.
40. You could learn how to live your life by watching others living their lives.
41. Like most fathers, he wanted me to be more than he was.
42. Fresh eyes can see old problems.
43. The only way to get people to do anything is to recognize their importance and thereby make them feel important.
44. Not moving forward means going backward.