给二十多岁的自己一张横冲直撞的通行证
2014-03-30
看书时，也有对书中那些范例质疑的时候，心里嘀咕着怎么清一色的全是那么优秀又卓越的成功人士的例子。但是看到后面，越来越觉得那些很简单的道理其实就像父母在饭桌上的老生常谈，没有太多惊喜，却如粗茶淡饭般在那里等着你用一口温吞吞的水把它们服下，内化成你身体的一部分。
摘录十段我最有感触的部分，就当给二十多岁的自己一个无所畏惧的理由。
1、学着离开自己的舒适区，去探索更多的可能。长时间地呆在舒适区很舒服，却容易止步不前。没有尝试，就不可能有回报。
Most people do not leave comfortable lives to tackle enormous problems in far-flung lands. But, in many cases, much smaller challenges seem just as daunting. For many, changing jobs or moving across town feels just as risky as traveling to an exotic location to perform relief work. It is much more comfortable to stay locked in a role that’s “good enough” than to reach for an alternative that has a higher degree of uncertainty. Most of us are content taking small, reliable steps. We don’t get very far, but we don’t rock the boat either.
2、积极主动，也是《高效能人士的七个习惯》中的第一个习惯。不要被动地等待许可，而是从内在的积极性出发去做每一件事。人生本来就是一个不断试错（trial-and-error）的过程。对这里作者举的一个例子印象深刻：一个大家公认女人缘很好的男士被问到“成功”的秘诀时，他说只不过是不停地去结交认识女士，有成功也有失败。也就是说，假设所有人做某件事的成功率都一样，那么分母如果积累得够多，分子的数量就会很可观。这么一想，才发觉无所畏的尝试是多么重要。
“Don’t ask for permission, but beg for forgiveness.”
the world is divided into people who wait for others to give them permission to do the things they want to do and people who grant themselves permission. Some look inside themselves for motivation and others wait to be pushed forward by outside forces.
If you get out there and try lots of things, you’re much more likely to find success than someone who waits around for the phone to ring.
3、分清”我只是在这件事上失败了“和”我这个人很失败“。
As Jeff Hawkins says, “You are not your company. You are not your product. It is real easy to think you are and it is real easy to get wrapped up in it…. But if you fail, or even if you are successful, it is not you. Your company may fail, your product may fail, but you aren’t the failure.”
4、职业规划不要想着一蹴而就，还是那个道理，试错。不停地尝试更多的东西，扩充自己的视野，再去找到最合适的那个方向。
People who are close to you often expect you to make decisions about your career path and stick with them. They want you to be a “fire and forget” missile that zeros in on a target and pursues it relentlessly. But this just isn’t how things work. Most people change course many times before finding the best match for their skills and interests. This is similar to the process of developing a product or designing new software—it’s important to keep experimenting, trying lots of things until you find out what works. Being too set on your path too early will likely lead you in the wrong direction.
5、如果身份是家庭主妇，哪怕没有工作，也要随时保持自己的职业技能，这会给你带来自信心。
My only recommendation is that if you intend to stop working while your kids are young, consider finding a way to keep your career on a low simmer. If you haven’t stepped all the way out for too long, it’s much easier to get back in. You can do this in an infinite variety of ways, from working part-time in traditional jobs to volunteering. Not only does it keep your skills sharpened, but it provides you with the confidence that you can gear up again when you’re ready.
6、这个世界上有各种各样的人，善意和非善意的，不管怎样，承认每个个体都是存在差异的这一事实。别人怎么对你是别人的事，你怎样回应是你的事。别树敌。
Because we live in such a small world, it really is important not to burn bridges, no matter how tempted you might be. You aren’t going to like everyone and everyone isn’t going to like you, but there’s no need to make enemies.
7、犯了错就承认，要善于说对不起抱歉我做错了，喋喋不休的解释只会把情况弄得更糟。
A simple acknowledgment that you messed up goes a long way. There’s no need for long speeches and explanations; just say, “I didn’t handle that very well. I apologize.” The sooner you do this after recognizing your mistake, the better. If you wait a long time to apologize, the damage continues to grow.
8、Be Helpful。这一点很有感触。以前当认识的朋友发生什么事而情绪不好的时候，总觉得不好怎么开口去安慰之类，于是就慢慢习惯了自己的沉默。后来发现这样其实给人一种很冷漠的印象。哪怕不会安慰人，也试着用态度或行动告诉对方我是愿意帮助你的。
At that exact moment I knew what I should have said to the fellow who fell in front of class years earlier and to my classmate who lost his mother. All I needed was someone to ask, “Are you all right? Is there anything I can do for you?”
9、如果你真的想做一件事，你会找到时间和方法。别骗自己。
You can manufacture an excuse that’s socially acceptable, such as having too much work or being sick, but if you really wanted to deliver you’d figure out a way to make it happen.
Even if you feel obliged to make excuses to others, you shouldn’t make them to yourself. You need to come to terms with the fact that if you really want to accomplish something, it’s up to you to do so.
10、抓住每一个让自己变得优秀的机会。
Boundless possibilities result from extracting yourself from your comfort zone, being willing to fail, having a healthy disregard for the impossible, and seizing every opportunity to be fabulous.
很庆幸在二十多岁就看到这本书，如果说人生要有什么永恒的愿望，大概就是永远都不要带着虚拟语气过完这一生。
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