一本將巴黎女人生活姿態言傳身受至極的書（評論與摘抄）
2016-01-02
短評：
常言道，一方水土養一方人。縱使地域人性間也總有共同的地方，但地區的不同有如同一岩洞裏各據一方的鐘乳石，呼吸著不同高度的空氣，汲取著各自的養分而出落得獨樹一幟。縱使同是女性，在法國這片自由不羈的土地上生活者的女人也自然而然地有了那有如藍天般純澈的柔情與義正嚴詞慵懶的英氣。而座落於一度為歐洲最時尚奢華之都的巴黎，也自然給她的人兒添上幾分貴氣的姿態。得其質樸童真的純澈相襯，也不會顯得老氣俗套。這也就成就了書中巴黎女人舉手投足中那股獨特的雅氣，猶如地中海邊上的海風，微甜卻不膩，清新卻難以忘懷，愜意卻無比優雅。
書分很多種。有技術知識層面以供現實運用的，也有敘述描繪出另一個世界與故事的。而閱讀此書則像是在用輕鬆幽默的語調來品釋一種生活態度。從由外描繪巴黎女人姿態，到由巴黎女人角度詮釋每一顰一笑的緣由。到最後對巴黎女人的評判，也全由讀者自己作罷。
巴黎女人並不與完美劃上等號。反之，正如作者於書中打趣說一般，“of course, you run the risk of ending up alone. And all because you were oblivious to the man who could have held you in his arms, and ignored the awkward-looking girl who could have been a lifelong friend.” 巴黎的女人，你或許會認為她們高冷，甚至故作姿態，卻不可否認她們那對生活獨有的幽默感讓他們可以輕易地逃脫任何矯情無趣的責難，並且振振有詞地繼續慵懶與享受午後的紅酒。續上的問題，“if that's the case, you can always book a one-way ticket to Paris.”
摘抄：
目錄
INTRODUCTION
1. Get the Basics
APHORISMS
* Don't be afraid of ageing. As the saying goes, don't be afraid of anything but fear itself.
* Find "your" perfume before you turn thirty. Wear if for the next thirty years.
* If you own only one sweater, make sure it is cashmere.
* One must live with the opposite sex, not against them. Except when making love.
* Go to the theatre, to museums, and to concerts as often as possible: it gives you the healthy glow.
* Be aware of your qualities and your faults. Cultivate them in private but don't obsess.
* Make it look easy. Everything you do should seem effortless and graceful.
* Your look should always have one thing left undone - the devil is in the details.
* Be your own knight of shining armour.
* Always be fuckable: when standing in line at the bakery on a Sunday morning, buying champagne in the middle of the night or even picking up the kids from school. You never know.
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THE PARISIENNE AS SEEN BY A PARISIAN MAN
* The Parisienne, shamelessly snobbish, is such a snob that she's perfectly comfortable letting everyone know it. What's wrong with that? The Parisienne is arrogant.
* Her thing is art, culture and politics. She cultivates herself the same way she cares for her radishes growing on the balcony - that is, with love.
* The Parisienne already knows what she must think: the opposite of what you think, no matter what.
* The Parisienne is always late. Unlike you, she has some important things to do, she's a busy woman. she'll never wear makeup on a date. Naturally, her inner beauty needs no artifice. On the other hand, she won't hesitate to wear lipstick to the bakery on Sunday morning, because what if she runs into someone she knows?
* She never crosses the street where she's supposed to: she claims it's her rebellious side. People who wait in lines stress her out.
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WHAT YOU WON'T FIND IN HER CLOSET
* Three-inch heels. Why live life halfway?
* Logos. You are not a billboard.
* Nylon, polyester, viscose and vinyl will make you sweaty, smell and shiny.
* Sweatpants. No man should ever see you in those. Except your gym teacher - and even then. Leggings are tolerated.
* Blingy jeans with embroidery and holes in them. They belong to Hollywood.
* UGG boots. Enough said.
* A skimpy top. Because you're not fifteen anymore.
* A fake designer bag. Like fake breasts, you can't fix your insecurities through forgery. Truth be told, if the Parisienne could wear just a Burberry trench and nothing underneath, she would be in heaven.
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THE MOST FAMOUS PARISIENNE ARE FOREIGNERS
1:00 P.M.: FIRST DATE AT THE CAFE DE FLORE
* "Welsh rarebit", she says.
She is adventurous and proud to show it. she is drawing a clear distinction between herself and other girls. She feels she is showing a certain audacity, putting it on the table, as if it were a trophy. She reads out the foreign words so casually you'd think she'd done it a hundred times before. She hopes that the waiter will not pick up on her accent, betraying her little show. The man opposite her looks up, surprised, and she savours the effect it has on him. Of course, she has no idea what she's just ordered. On the menu, in small print, it says:"a specialty made from cheddar, beer, and toast." Inwardly she smiles, inedible. No matter, she will talk enough for him not to notice that she's ignoring her plate. The waiter then turns to the man.
"I'll have the same, please," he says.
And in a flash, the whole scene crumbles. Oh no, a sheep, a follower, what a bore. Suddenly, her eyes are opened, and she realises that his conversation has been peppered with banalities for the past half hour. She now knows she'll eat two bites, then find a reason to leave before the hour is up. And she will never see him again. Adieu.
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A SERIOUS TEXT ABOUT HUMOUR
* If you had to describe Parisian humor, you could say it is both cold and sarcastic. You would find it is prone to joyous despair, likes paradox, and entertains a rather disillusioned idea of life and love (coupled with the certainty that they are both nevertheless worth it).
* It is a snobbish humour, often with a bit of self-deprecation. Indeed, playing up the least flattering anecdotes about yourself is considered good taste. Amusing your friends by recounting your setbacks or embarrassment is a genuine sport, practiced by Parisians who otherwise do none, because laughing at yourself is better for your health than crying (especially in the absence of any other sport.)
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PARISIAN PUZZLE-WINTER/SUMMER
A KIND OF BLUE
* Someone is talking to her, but she's not listening... All she can think about is the faint smell of burning candles that carries her back to a long-lost part of her childhood.
* During the summer months she is particularly sensitive as the daylight begins to fade. she feels as though the world's troubles are flowing through her. She doesn't feel like talking, and stays in her bedroom until the sun has set.
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A MOTHER WITH FLAWS
* Let's be honest: the Parisienne is a selfish woman.
* In Paris you won't find many mater dolorosa, sacrificial women whose lives revolve around cooking shepherd's pie for their numerous progeny.
* She doesn't give up anything, because she also embraces her role as a mother. She wants to be there to educate her child, to watch him grow up, to pass on her values, her culture, her philosophy. And what happens in the life of a woman who refuses to give up anything? Disorder - and lots of it. A disorder to so normal it may even become, through repetition, a new form of order.
* He might join her at a lunch, accompany her to a boutique, end up at a concert or a cocktail party, where he will fall asleep on a sofa as she watches over him with equal amounts of guilt and tenderness.
* These moments between two ages, these moments of complicity that would normally be forbidden, become regular exceptions, fun detours to throw the child's timetable of track. And in general, neither is complaining. Later on, they will both cherish these fleeting images, fragments of conversation gleaned here and there, the vestiges of the adult world he will have caught a glimpse of, helping him to form a joyful image of what awaits him one day. According to the Parisienne, this joie de vivre is the best way of inspiring children to grow up. And also the best way for mothers to never miss the lives they led before they had children.
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HOW TO ANSWER THE TELEPHONE WHEN HE FINALLY CALLS
* The Parisienne lets the phone rings. (She's not waiting by the phone.)
* She feigns surprise upon hearing his voice. (She wasn't expecting his call.)
* She asks if she can call him back in five minutes. (She is in the middle of something.)
* The thing is, she's not alone... (Et oui: you should never have kept her waiting.)
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VIRTUES OF THE SIGNATURE ITEM
* You don't have to spend a decade's worth of salary on your wardrobe, or flaunt designer brands the whole time. All you need is one signature item: the one you wear when you need to feel strong.
* Remember: your signature item is a piece that looks amazing on you; it drapes perfectly around your shoulders, it makes your every gesture seem effortless and graceful. The fabric is flawless and the finishes are perfect - but it should never be gaudy or loud.
* The signature item is a gift that a woman gives herself depending on her age, her taste and the size of her purse. It is a symbol of independence and freedom, which states, "I bought this for myself. I earned it and it makes me happy."
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AU NATUREL
* Au natural is the fruit of hard labour, meticulously passed down from generation to generation. What follows is a series of unusual tips that could be summed up as follows: how to take care of yourself while giving the impression that you don't take care of yourself. It is the art of beauty - the Parisian way.
* And as your face gets messier with age, your hair can get neater, for balance.
* And, of course, a touch of perfume on your hair, behind your ear or on the nape of your neck, never did anyone any harm.
* French women avoid using foundation, which merely serves as a shroud and therefore trivializes.
* Despite all these routines, the Parisienne retains her little imperfections, cherishes them even (the gap in her smile or her slightly crooked tooth, her prominent eyebrows or strong nose): these are the signs of a certain strength of character and allow her to feel beautiful without being perfect.
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PUBLIC PRIVACY
* A Parisienne always has a good reason to be sitting on a bench.
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FAUX PAS
* Asking someone at a party what they do for a living.
* Having a wedding photo on display in your living room.
* Matching your handbag to your outfit.
* Being "friends" with your children.
* Using "I've had one too many" as an excuse for inappropriate behaviour.
* Trying too hard with your appearance. Wearing too much makeup.
* Finishing for compliments.
* Having more than two different colours in your hair.
* Taking yourself too seriously.
* Using corporate jargon, even if it's a common phrase.
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SAFETY KIT: BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW
SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 1
2. Own Your Bad Habits
YES. BUT NO. BUT YES.
HOW TO MAKE HIM THINK YOU HAVE A LOVER
HER OWN HIGHWAY CODE
KISS AND PLAY
* When it comes to kissing, the Parisienne does it the same way she does everything else: with cinematic flair.
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HOSTING A DINNER PARTY; BEHIND THE SCENES
* Like Coco Chanel, do your utmost to avoid dinners with more than six guests around the table. In Paris, an evening often starts with a bottle of champagne, served with ice. If possible, get the conversation flowing with a controversial political statement.
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COOL OR COLD?
* Never wear your glasses, especially if you're nearsighted. That way, you won't have to acknowledge people you know. You'll have that aloof look, the one that seduces men (but annoys women because they see right through you).
* When invited to parties, be the last to arrive. Sip your champagne, but never get too drunk.
* Always look as if you are gazing at the sunset. Even during rush hour in the Metro. Even when picking up frozen pizza from the supermarket.
* When on the phone, no need for small talk. "Hi, how are you." Get to the point. Hang up as soon as you have your answer. End all of your calls with "See you later," even with people you won't see for another year.
* Talk softly so that people have to lean in to hear you. Look preoccupied. Speak in quotes. Give yourself over but don't give yourself away.
* "of course, you run the risk of ending up alone. And all because you were oblivious to the man who could have held you in his arms, and ignored the awkward-looking girl who could have been a lifelong friend. If that's the case, you can always book a one-way ticket to Paris."
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WHERE DOES THIS POUT COME FROM?
* The precieuses belong to these lingering ancestors. During the reigns of Louis XIII and Louis XIV, some women of the court created a feminist movement to fight against the prevailing misogyny of the era. These women sought tenderness and restraint. They wanted to hear sweet nothings whispered in their ears - to be charmed and won over with wit and grace, before being whisked off to bed.
* The writer Madeleine de Scudery was the leader of this movement. She drew a map of imaginary country called Tenderness. In order to reach the city of Love, one had to pass through several small villages, each one a new step toward winning the heart of one's beloved.
* From these first feminists, the Parisiennes have kept the characteristically cold, slightly aloof pout. It is part of our heritage, just like a delicately placed beauty spot or an antique chest of drawers, passed down from one generation to the next.
* Even today, the Map of Tenderness lives on subconsciously in the heart of a Parisienne. She can shift from hot to cold, from indifference to friendship, exploring the twists and turns that are essential to any journey in human relationships. Things are essential to any journey in human relationships. Things develop over time, but you need quiet strength to nurture strong ties. although the Parisienne does not extend her affection lightly, once offered, it lasts till death do us part, "cross my heart and hope to die."
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PARISIAN SNOBBISMS
* On NYE, enjoy a plate of oysters at home and go to bed before midnight. (The pre-New Year's Eve party you hosted last night was already the "best of the year".)
* Never say "Bon Appetit!" when you sit down for a meal. (And never pass the salt directly - place it on the table first for the other person to pick up.)
* Leave a party when it's in full swing. (Even your own.)
* Wear navy blue with black. (And red with pink, a la Yves Saint Laurent.)
* When meeting someone for the first time, never say "What a pleasure," but rather "What a pleasure to meet you." (You never know what the future might hold.)
* Say "The Search" (when referring to Proust's In Search of Lost Time).
* Don't use abbreviations when texting. (And emoticons should be only for your girlfriends.)
* Don't follow trends. (Trends follow you.)
* Never lose control. (But make sure you have a steamy past.)
* Be friends with people of different generations. (Both young and old, but especially the old.)
* Embrace your inner snob. (Because let's face it, that's who you are.)
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AN OFF DAY AT WORK
* Sobered by her own temper, she buckles down and gets everything done with the drive of a woman determined to prove her worth to the world. She focuses on a difficult negotiation and refuses, as a matter of pride, to back down. When she walks out, chin high, she has the fierce allure of someone who's emerging from battle... She might even grab a drink on her way home. After all, she deserves it.
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HARD TO ADMIT
* She quite like some of her children's friends, but others she thinks are real idiots. And she makes no particular effort to hide her opinion - being hypocritical would just be setting a bad example.
* She can spend hours playing make-believe with her little ones. She'd be quite happy to live in one of their imaginary worlds forever, if only she didn't have to return to the adult life to earn a living.
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NOT YOUR MOST GLORIOUS MOMENTS
HOW TO DESTABLIZE A MAN
* She:
cancels a date at the last minute and apologizes, but won't give him a reason.
describes her evening in five words or fewer ("It was really fun"), and then goes straight to bed.
talks politics with her mouth and sex with her eyes.
is alarmingly honest and answers "terribly" when asked how she's doing.
actually forgets to wear a bra in summertime.
makes an office meeting more exciting by discreetly laying her hand on his thigh.
settles her scores with sex, instead of talking it through.
grabs hold of a stranger's arm to walk down the stairs in heels.
manages to pay the bill before he even asks for it.
randomly exclaims, "This is the most wonderful day of my life!"
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THE 6:00 P.M. DEBATE: THE GYM
SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 2
3. Cultivate Your Allure
24-HOUR LOOK
THE ESSENTIALS
* Jeans
* Men's shoes
* The bag
* The little black blazer
* Ballet flats
* A small silk scarf
* The white shirt
* A long trench
* A thick scarf
* The oversized sweater that slips off your shoulder
* Basic oversized sunglasses
* An oversized shirt
* The very simple, but very expensive T-shirt
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LESS IS MORE
* She may be right, but too much cleavage leaves too little to the imagination. It's like serving dessert before anyone has even touched their appetizer. It tries too hard, shows its hand too quickly and betrays a certain lack of self-confidence. Like a girl who talks so incessantly there is nothing left to ask.
* Just an inch, a small dose.
* This small dose fires up the imagination of the beholder. It makes him desperate to find out what comes next, to hear the woman's story, to break through her silences, to tear off her shirt... This woman deals out her mystery with restraint, and only gives access to the enigma of her body in gradual increments. And many are those who are desperate to throw themselves at her feet, for a chance to slip off her heels. One inch. No more.
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ON A PARISIENNE'S BOOKSHELF
* And then there are the books you have read, loved and which are a part of your identity:
The Stranger, Albert Camus
The Elementary Particles, Michel Houellebecq
Belle du Seigneur, Albert Cohen
Bonjour Tristesse, Francoise Sagan
Madame Bovary, Gustave Flaubert
Foam of the Daze, Boris Vian
Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
The Flowers of Evil, Charles Baudelaire
Journey to the End of the Night, Louis-Ferdinand Celine
Swann's Way, Marcel Proust
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THE MINISKIRT
* Whether you're pairing it with a white tee or a patterned blouse, you must never wear a miniskirt with any hint of decolletage or vulgarity. Keep your heels low and your makeup invisible. To be worthy of the name, a miniskirt must be perfectly cut. Whether it is denim, cotton or leather, it should be straight and classically simple.
* In France, the miniskirt is not about wanting to seduce. instead it's a symbol of freedom. The miniskirt was born in Paris, long before London's swinging sixties (at least that's what the Parisienne like to believe). The first was commissioned from fashion designer Jean Patou in the early 1920s, when French tennis champion Suzanne Leglen asked him to design a skirt for her to wear in the Olympics. It set a new standard, of strong women competing in a man's world, without relinquishing their femininity.
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SAVE YOUR SKIN
WHEN YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING
* But she might have a newspaper under her arm. She might mention Satre or Foucault in a conversation. It's her personality that sparkles and nothing else: the sign of intellectual wealth.
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WOMEN IN BLACK
OFF THE RADAR
* You have no real reason to be there: you're not meeting anyone, and no one is waiting for you elsewhere. You will stay as long as you like, and leave only when you're ready.On a whim you can decide what to do and how to do it: there is something a bit dangerous and yet delicious about freedom.
* You are anonymous in your own city: no one knows your age, who you are, or what you do for a living. In this moment, you can regain control of your life. Feel the beating of your heart, take a deep breath, and listen to yourself. Do nothing, absolutely nothing. Savour these stolen moments. They help you regroup, and belong to no one else. You alone are responsible for what happens to you.
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NAVY BLUE
THE PARISIENNE AS SEEN BY AN AMERICAN NOVELIST
* "...when Mitchell looked at her, the girl did an amazing thing: she looked back. She met his gaze with frank sexual meaning. Not that she wanted to have sex with him, necessarily. Only that she was happy to acknowledge, on this late-summer evening, that he was a man and she a woman, and if he found her attractive, that was all right with her."
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THE SIMONES
* The Simone Veils, "My demand as a woman is that my difference be taken into account and that I not be forced to adapt to the male model."
* The Simone de Beauvoirs
* The Simone Signorets, "The secret to happiness in love is not being blind, but knowing when to close your eyes."
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IN THE COUNTRYSIDE
* The terrifying soundtrack of this hostile wildlife reminds her of her own fragility. A fly flits across her shirt. As she takes off her shoes, she walks on a patch of stinging nettles.
* But she'd never admit to this. Defending the countryside would mean renouncing the city, changing religions, running the risk of being excommunicated, and becoming forever after the poor little Parisienne who got lost in a field of wheat.
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THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF
* In the street, at a cafe, on the bus, a person's face can tell a story, like a crystal ball that reveals the past. Happy or long-lost loves, births, hopes and victories, successes interwoven with twists of fate.
* Experiences, and the ways in which we change, become our visual identity. Everything is laid out for the world to see. We are either born lucky, with a face that suits us. Or not.
* But life often rights wrongs. The pretty girls who were queen bees in high school, who had everything handed to them on a platter, and rested on their laurels, are eclipsed by the ones they never see coming: the ones who turn their difference into an asset, a trademark. And like any good vintage, they get better with age.
* Better to look your age than look no age at all. By now we've learned that relying on excessive plastic surgery ages you more than real life. sure, some women sometimes master the art of Botox, but most of the time, let's be honest: instead of a face free of wrinkles, what you really see is the face of fear.
* Parisian women never try to appear to be something other than what they are. In truth, more than wanting to look young - which is but a fleeting illusion - they want above all the become the best possible version of themselves, outside and in, at any age.
* In their mind, a single rule outweighs all others: enjoy the face you have today. It's the one you'll wish you have ten years from now.
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TAKE YOUR TIME
TRINKETS AND TREASURES
* The Parisienne wears very little jewellery.
* The Inseparable: a fine chain, a simple ring, a family heirloom. It is as discreet as possible, and should subtly suit you. It's your trademark.
* The Statement Piece: a chunky gold bracelet or a gemstone necklace, these statement pieces are for brightening up a casual daytime outfit or for wearing on the beach with a tan.
* The Theory of Contrast: the smarter the outfit, the less jewellery you need.
* "The Jewels", by Baudelaire: "My well-beloved was stripped. Knowing my whim,/ She wore her tinkling gems, but naught besides." Take a leaf out of his book and keep your jewellery on in bed. Whether you're going to sleep or making love. It will give you sweet dreams.
* Your Watch: it is also considered a piece of jewellery. That doesn't mean it has to cost a fortune, only that it should be pretty, classic or quirky. Your watch completes an outfit, either by perking it up or by adding contrast.
* The Backstory: you don't need to own a lot of jewellery, but each piece - whether a memento from your family or your travels - should tell a story. Their value lies not in their price but in their sentiment.
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SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 3
4. Dare to Love
THE IDEAL MAN
AN OPTIMISTIC VIEW ON LOVE
* Love is the only part of your life in which you truly have no choice.
* The good news is that over the course of your various liaisons - and incidentally all your not-so-glorious moments - you have learned to truly know yourself, to be strong and independent, to get by on your own. And so you don't need anyone else to be happy. But you have to admit that, with him, it's better.
* In Paris, like anywhere else, it's good to know how to look beyond your preconceptions, in order to become a girl in love.
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A WOMAN'S REAL ASSETS
* From this, Milton Erickson derived an important discovery about human psychology - we often get it all wrong, trying one thing exhaustedly when all it takes is doing the exact opposite to achieve the desired effect.
* If you believe that tears are a vibrant sign of your vulnerability, think again. Forget the notion that they are heart-wrenching in any way. Crying is not a weapon, it's little more than noise and needlessly wasted energy. Unless you never cry. In which case, the one time you do, you can be sure your years will floor him.
* Instead of fanning the flames and causing a scene, retract your claws and nip the fantasy in the bud. You could say, "Not only is that woman beautiful, but she's such fun and clever too!" Acknowledging the fantasy is the surest way of extinguishing its spark. If, however, the appeal lingers, if the situation becomes riskier than expected, invite your adversary to your home for dinner. Setting a fox among the geese will make it a gosling. Worst-case scenario, you'll have a new friend.
* Saying hurtful and disagreeable things won't make him change. It'll only make him run. Why would he stay with someone who clearly has such a low opinion of him? Instead, shower him with compliments. As his ego is being boosted by your flattery, he will want only one thing: to try to be more like the image you painted of him.
* Don't ever speak ill of your in-laws. Tell him your mother-in-law is the ideal woman. He'l never get over it.
* The problem with sulking is that it is an act of self-punishment. It's a waste of time that could be better spent channelling creative energy. Instead of sulking, play the role of the perfect woman - it is far more destabilizing. Be cheerful, bright and sensual - anything but sullen. Once he realizes all that he stands to lose, an apology and mea culpa will come sooner than expected.
* Emotional blackmail will get you nowhere. As for threatening to commit suicide, no one will believe you'd actually go through with it. So forget about swallowing an entire bottle of homeopathic pills. The only thing you'd prove is that you're not a woman of your word.
* Instead of threatening to disappear forever, disappear for real. Without a word, pick up your purse and kets and slam the door behind you. Go get some air. Whether it's for an hour or a week, put some distance between you. And silence (switch off your phone). Take a deep breath, and feel how good it is to be alive.
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IN LOVE WITH LOVE
* In his book On Love, the nineteenth-century French author Stendhal wrote that falling in love works much the same way. At first, the object of love appears to be absolutely perfect, even extraordinary. For Stendhal, the period of crystallization is fleeting, obsessional, and quixotic - a phase during which the object of affection is completely idealized. For most, this state passes soon enough, but not for the Parisienne. The Parisienne is in love with the idea of love. To a pathological degree. Her entire life revolves around the flutterings of her heart.
* Voila, the secret of the Parisienne, the reason for her flushed cheeks, her wistful smile. Her love of love. And even if the object of her affection changes from one day to the next, the feeling remains the same. She is incredibly faithful, just not to the same man.
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A MOTHER'S ADVICE ON LOVE
* Always be prepared, he could be just around the corner.
* Love alone is not enough. You have to work at it.
* Age should never be an excuse to go to bed early.
* Be financially independent, so that you love only for love.
* When you no longer want to love each other, it's that you're still in love. When you still want to love each other, it's what you've fallen out of love.
* If he's the right horse, he'll come back at a gallop.
* Just because you have only one life doesn't mean you should be afraid of wasting it.
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A LITTLE EXTRA SOMETHING
* "You're pregnant!" It's such a great news! But in grammar as in life, the word "pregnant" s an adjective. It describes you, it doesn't define you.
* You take advantage of your newfound cleavage to experiment with the decollete: you are sexy.
* You buy things in extra-large at H&M rather than go to a maternity store: you have flair.
* You don't think of yourself as the eighth wonder of the world: you are realistic.
* You don't complain to your co-workers about your stretch marks: you are discreet.
* You don't discuss your fear of an episiotomy with your brother-in-law: you know your manners.
* You don't believe that your belly entitles you to be high maintenance: you are a grown-up.
* You don't share the photos from your last ultra-sound with your entire address book: you still have some secrets.
* You wear high heels until the day you walk into the delivery room: you never surrender.
* You don't plan a baby shower: you don't need to celebrate the fact that you had sex eight months ago.
* You don't feel guilty because you missed your last birthing classes: you are a free woman.
* You are not defined by this stage of your life. This is a period of growth. You are pregnant woman, which means you are above all a woman. With a little extra something.
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THE PARTY
AFTER-SEX LUNCH - HAPPY ENDING
BEING NAKED
* Just because a Frenchman painted The Origin of the World some 150 years ago doesn't make it acceptable for us to prance around naked whenever we feel like it.
* Nudity must be treated like an apparition. Like a game between lovers, it must never feel gratuitous or mundane, it must never be taken for granted. It should always be meaningful.
* When you walk around naked, you're allowing yourself to be seen - and the person you're with should know it's intentional. You're creating excitement. Even if you're in a long-term relationship, don't slouch, hold your head up high. You've learned to know your body and you can accommodate its peculiarities.
* In short, you're not a slave to the cult of the perfect body - so learn to make the best of what nature gave you.
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GIRLS GANG
* As confident as she may be, the Parisienne understands that she needs other women in her life: the long-lost childhood friends she reconnects with years alter: the high school friends who were there for all her firsts - French kiss, playing hooky, getting dissed, first time, morning-after pill - and then there are the friends for life, the ones she can always count on, the ones who find her on their doorstep, suitcase in hand, after she's been dumped. They'll get pregnant at the same time, perhaps because they can't actually have children with each other. Without her girls gang, a Parisienne is not complete.
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THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY
NOT A WEDDING
SEPARATE BEDROOMS
* "Separate bedrooms " no longer means to create two distinct spaces for him and her in one apartment, but rather to sleep apart regularly enough in different locations that you start to miss each other. And sometimes we force the situation. We take off to the countryside on a whim or stay later than expected at a girlfriend's house chatting the night away and then decide to stay over on the spur of the moment. Or we might even concoct a business trip, creating a work commitment that separates us for a while and then brings us closer together, an antidote to routine. All the pleasure of that phone call and hearing him say, "It's cold, without you."
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SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 4
5. Parisian Tips
SPENDING TIME THE PARISIAN WAY
PARIS CUTOUTS
THE ABC'S OF CHEATING
* Don't feel guilty. This is about you, not against him.
* Your lover should not be part of your circle of friends: it's okay to cheat on your boyfriend, it's not okay to humiliate him. His honour matters just as much as your personal fulfilment.
* Protect yourself - against disease and love itself (which can also make you very sick).
* Never complain to your lover about your boyfriend. Who wants to fool around with a woman who's dating a loser?
* Keep things straight: don't treat your lover like a boyfriend.
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THE ART OF MAKE-BELIEVE
* The secret of making a man know you need him: Of course you can open a bottle of wine by yourself. But let him do it. That's equality, too.
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CLASSIC (AND FOOLPROOF) FRENCH RECIPES
SETTING THE TABLE
* To set a table for a dinner party, there's no need to invest in a full set of china. However, anything "themed" (confetti, stones, fake flower petals, etc.) isn't welcome - it's not Mardi Gras. The table should reflect what you have, and not be overly coordinated. Au contraire, the china can be a mottled collection of your finds at flea markets.
* Your glasses don't have to match either, but they should be clear (nothing coloured) and should all have stems.
* For napkins, it is nice to use old embroidered white ones with a monogram.
* At a Parisienne's table you will often find Laguiole folding knives, named after the French village where they are made. You can recognize them by the insect engraved on the handle.
* On every table there is an open bottle of wine and a carafe of water (not a plastic bottle). If you don't have a salt shaker, put salt in two small dishes on either end of the table. The large wooden pepper grinders are called Rubirosas, after the Dominican playboy, and are the best.
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ON YOUR MANTELPIECE
* A postcard from a holiday. Whether a view of a deserted beach in Formentera or the Villa Malaparte in Capri.
* A newspaper clipping with a witty headline.
* A still from a cult film, torn out of a book or magazine.
* Photos. Photos of you now (though not too flattering - nothing that screams "look how beautiful I am"). A photo of you as a child, a blurred Polaroid shot, or a black-and-white strip from a photo booth.
* Cinema tickets from films that you adored.
* Tickets stubs from art shows you loved.
* Invitations to your best friend's cocktail/premiere/engagement party.
* Mementos that make you smile (concert tickets, postcards gleaned from here and there).
* You old ID card or first driver's licence.
* A quote, a poem, a handwritten letter that moves you.
* An old black-and-white photo that you found in an antiques store or that was in your family.
* Seashells collected from here and there.
* Objects from your life that are always with you and give you pleasure wherever you look at them because they tell your story.
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YOU'LL BE A MAN, MY SON
* Being a feminist and appreciating gallantry are not necessarily incompatible - on the contrary. Making an effort, being attentive: it doesn't take much and yet it makes a world of difference. What a joy to find some grace and courtesy in this world of brutes. When you encourage his chivalry, a man becomes more a man, a woman more a woman.
* And also, it's only normal that:
He hold the door for you.
He carry your suitcases and your shopping - a woman only ever carries her handbag.
He pour your wine; you should never have to touch the bottle. It suits him - that way you'll get drunk faster.
He take you home and wait for you to close the front door. Even if he tried to come up and you didn't let him. Making him wait- a little - never did anyone any harm.
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LIGHTEN UP
* In fact, the decoration and life of your home should be organized around natural light. It is daylight that dictates the layout of your apartment and regulates its very heartbeat.
* Think of lighting the way you do your makeup. Keep it mellow to soften the contours. Never have anything neon, unless it is part of a decorative piece. The aim is to create a warm and romantic atmosphere by using several sources of light, creating different moods for different rooms.
* The kitchen: If you have enough space, create two different vibes: on one side the dining area, with soft lighting to inspire discussion and seduction; on the other side your worktop, with more direct light to prepare your roast lamb without cutting your finger.
* The living room: make sure you accentuate the corners in a room, to open up the space. Use smaller lamps instead of a massive ceiling light, unless, of course, you've inherited a spectacular chandelier from your grandmother in which you can then put low-wattage lightbulbs. You can also keep a few candles here and there, but never on a low table: light from below only accentuates the bags under your eyes, and the shadow of your nose will give you a moustache.
* The bedroom: keep the light low. Forget about the boring old lamp that draws attention to curves and cellulite. The only sources of light here should be the one in your closet and your reading lamp, which is never too harsh as it would only damages your eyes.
* The bathroom is your best friend. Don't let it demoralize you! Choose a flattering light - even if it cheats a little - to make you feel good about yourself.
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PLAYDATE
* "Never Have I Ever"
* "The Book Game"
* "The Dictionary Game"
* "The Novel Game"
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LITTLE BIG TREATS
SUNDAY RECIPES
ANCESTRAL TIPS (WE NEVER FORGET OUR ROOTS)
WHEN YOU WATCH THESE FILMS. YOU'RE IN PARIS
* 2 Days in Paris
* An American in Paris
* Love Song
* The Regular Loves
* Read My Lips
* Good Old Daze
* La Discrete
* Love Without Pity
* The Last Metro
* An Elephant Can Be Extremely Deceptive
* Last Tango in Paris
* Cesar and Rosalie
* Breathless
* Elevator to the Gallows
* Hotel du Nord
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SCENES FROM PARISIAN LIFE: TAKE 5
WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON
* French words used in English:
Adieu, a la carte, a la mode, a propose, art deco, au naturel, avant-garde, bon appetit, bourgeois, brunette, carte blanche, c'est la vie, chaud-froid, cherchez la femme, chic, cliche, coquette, coup de foudre, creme brulee, creme de la creme, cuisine, cul de sac, debutante, decollete, encore, ennui, faux pas, femme fatale, fiance/fiancee, film noir, foie gras, haute couture, hors d'oeuvre, jene sais quoi, joie de vivre, lingerie, Mardi Gras, menage a trois, negligee, nouvelle vague, oh lala!, papier-mache, petite, pret-a-porter, protegee, raison d'etre, rendezvous, RSVP, sabotage, sangfroid, sans, savoir faire, savoir-vivre, souvenir, tete-a-tete, touche, tour de force, trompe l'oeil, vis-a-vis, voila, voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?, zut alors
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FIFTEEN WORDS YOU NEED
* AAAAA (Association Amicale des Amateurs d'Andouillette Authentique)
* La Bise
* Carnet
* Camembert
* La Province
* Piscine
* Vin Rouge
* Samedi Soir
* Psychanalyste
* Boire un Verre
* Sous-texte
* Croissants
* Theatre
* Marche
* Plouc
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ADDRESS BOOK
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ILLUSTRATION CREDITS
＊end of the book＊
書裡面有許多法式雅緻慵雋的插圖，行文敘述也十分幽默伶俐。上面摘抄的沒有大半也應該有全書一半的文字了。只是同是那句話，讀這本書體驗的是一種生活態度。文字的排版，中間的間隔停頓，大小寫之分，恰如其分的插圖，甚至是紙質本身的設計都令文字的表述得以活靈活現，帶來感官上更深刻與愉悅的感受。最後摘抄書中我最喜歡的一句作為對巴黎女性精神的總結與之斟酌：
"When you work to please others you can't succeed, but the things you do to satisfy yourself stand a chance of catching someone's interest." - Marcel Proust, Pastiches et Melanges
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