notes (excerpts)

We celebrate breadth rather than depth, quick reaction more than considered reflection. We skim across the surface, alighting for brief moments at dozens of destinations but rarely remaining for long at any one. We race through our lives without pausing to consider who we really want to be or where we really want to go.

We, too, must learn to live our own lives as a series of sprints—fully engaging for periods of time, and then fully disengaging and seeking renewal before jumping back into the fray to face whatever challenges confront us.

Building rituals requires defining very precise behaviors and performing them at very specific times—motivated by deeply held values. As Aristotle said: “We are what we repeatedly do.

Time is a finite resource and we all place infinite demands on it.

To live like a sprinter is to break life down into a series of manageable intervals consistent with our own physiological needs and with the periodic rhythms of nature. We must learn to establish stopping points in our days, inviolable times when we step off the track, cease processing information and shift our attention from achievement to restoration.

Much as we fear change, the deepest satisfaction comes from our willingness to expose ourselves to new challenges and engage in novel experiences.“The best moments [in our lives] usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.

Any activity that is enjoyable, fulfilling and affirming tends to prompt positive emotions. Depending on your interests, that may mean singing, gardening, dancing, making love, doing yoga, reading an absorbing book, playing a sport, visiting a museum, attending a concert, or simply spending quiet, reflective time alone after an intense day of engaging with other people. The key, we have found, is making such activities priorities, and treating the time that you invest in them as sacrosanct. The point is not just that pleasure is its own reward, but more practically, that it is a critical ingredient in sustained performance.

During the past decade, we have been surprised and dismayed to discover how infrequently most people undertake activities simply because they are enjoyable and emotionally nourishing. One of the most revealing questions that we ask the clients who come through our training is how frequently in their lives they experience a sense of joy or deep satisfaction.

以下均关于spiritual------------------
We define “spiritual” not in the religious sense, but rather in more simple and elemental terms: the connection to a deeply held set of values and to a purpose beyond our self-interest. the capacity to live by our deepest values depends on regularly renewing our spirit—seeking ways to rest and rejuvenate and to reconnect with the values that we find most inspiring and meaningful.

“He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.”

Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost. What was needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—hourly and daily. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

The most compelling source of purpose is spiritual, the energy derived from connecting to deeply held values and a purpose beyond one’s self-interest. Purpose creates a destination. It drives full engagement by prompting our desire to invest focused energy in a particular activity or goal. We become fully engaged only when we care deeply, when we feel that what we are doing really matters. Purpose is what lights us up, floats our boats, feeds our souls.

Unfortunately, most of us do not pursue the hero’s path. The simple, almost embarrassing reality is that we feel too busy to search for meaning. Who has the time and the energy to actively pursue a deeper purpose? Instead, like Roger B., many of us sleepwalk through our lives, operating on automatic pilot most of the time. We meet our obligations but rarely question whether we could be reaching for something more.

Because we so often lack deep roots—firm beliefs and compelling values—we are easily buffeted by the prevailing winds.

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”

A negative source of purpose is defensive and deficit-based. It arises in the face of threat—physical or psychological.

Many of our clients blame their work environments for their unhappiness and their absence of passion. But it is not necessarily the nature of the job that determines how meaningful and motivating it is. The challenge we all face is to find ways to use the workplace as a forum in which to express and embody our deepest values. We can derive a sense of purpose, for example, from mentoring others, or being part of a cohesive team, or simply from a commitment to treating others with respect and care and from communicating positive energy. The real measure of our lives may ultimately be in the small choices we make in each and every moment.

Clarifying purpose takes time—quiet, uninterrupted time—which is something that many of us feel we simply do not have. We are forever rushing from one obligation to the next without any larger sense of direction. It seems almost self-indulgent to spend time on questions of meaning and purpose. It may help to think of energy devoted to these issues as an investment with the potential to deliver a high return over time—increased energy, fuller engagement, higher productivity and greater satisfaction. So long as we skim across the surface of our lives at high speeds, it is impossible to dig down more deeply. People cannot move horizontally and vertically at the same time. When clients come through our program, one of our aims is to help them slow down, to put aside their preoccupations and their pressing demands for long enough to step back and take a look at the choices they are making. It is no coincidence that every enduring spiritual tradition has emphasized practices such as prayer, retreat, contemplation and meditation—all means by which to quietly connect with and regularly revisit what matters most. You might begin your own inquiry very simply by giving some thought to the following question: “Is the life I am living worth what I am giving up to have it?”

It is not always that easy. There are times when we must endure difficult bosses and stressful work environments. Even then, when we are guided by clear values, we can continue to make choices about how to behave from a position of confidence, strength and dignity rather than from anger, resentment and insecurity. In some cases, it may make sense to change our circumstances. But challenges and difficulties never disappear. In the end, we must live in concert with our values wherever we find ourselves.

The Serenity Prayer is a perfect primer on ideal energy management: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”