不知道有多少人和我一样在看书以前就确定自己是个性格内向的人。我是抱着发掘潜能的心态去读了这本书，读完之后却觉得it's bullshit. 整本书只是不停的在强调内向不是病不是shy是一种性格。Do you know what is the best thing, and the worst thing at the same time, for a human being is ? Everyone can find an external reason to avoid being blame. That's why this book has such a high rate. It find the reason for those internal people. No matter if the "internal" is really a character or excuse, I didn't see any application of our potential. The only thing I saw was the drawbacks of the internal and how to make it up.
Back to the whole book, there are still something useful. At the end of this book, it teaches you how do couples deal with their problems. And the way it suggests can be wildly used in friends, siblings and so on.
The following are my notes for how to address the conflict.
重述您的伴侣所说的话
您对他或她的观点的最后总结是较为准确还是不大准确？
如果您注意到您的配偶倒退回以前的行为时，不要谴责他或她。
赞赏自己是多么的勇于改变！善待自己。
谈谈您最喜爱配偶的哪些做法
协商不同的需要，注意不要相互责怪。责备是经过乔装的害怕。通过直接地询问对方需要什么可以减少这种责怪。
练习说出突然出现在您的脑海里的东西。不要总是想好了再说。